Categories

A sample text widget

Etiam pulvinar consectetur dolor sed malesuada. Ut convallis euismod dolor nec pretium. Nunc ut tristique massa.

Nam sodales mi vitae dolor ullamcorper et vulputate enim accumsan. Morbi orci magna, tincidunt vitae molestie nec, molestie at mi. Nulla nulla lorem, suscipit in posuere in, interdum non magna.

It's Been A While

Actually, it’s been a damn long while since I posted anything here. Good things are happening advocacy wise, I was named to the 2014 Medicine X Honor Roll and I’ll be part of a panel discussion on patient generated data at Health Datapalooza in May. The kind folks over at DSMA Live invited me over for a chat on April 2 and I’ll also be returning to Palo Alto this September as a Medicine X ePatient Scholar for 2015, doing an Ignite speech this time around.

Since I attended Medicine X last fall, I really haven’t had the urge to post anything. Does this mean I’m done blogging and advocating? I don’t know… I sometimes wonder if I feel like I’ve accomplished something. Just wish I knew what the hell it was.

One of my main topics has always been depression and chronic illnesses, especially diabetes. About how we simply can’t successfully treat one without treating the other. In the past year, that topic has taken a much more prominent spot in conversations taking place. This is fantastic to see and what is even better is that many of these voices are louder and more influential than I. Maybe I feel that I no longer need to carry that flag as much.

I recently attended the inaugural Diabetes Unconference which, by the way, is a lot like HIPAA because I can’t tell you. Or maybe it’s a little more Taoist as he who tells was not there and he who was there cannot tell…

But anyway, the main reason I went was to see if I could sort some of this crap in my head. It really didn’t help much though I did really enjoyed being there with such fantastic people and catching up with old friends and meeting new ones.

I think part of the issue involves how I’ve felt about things in general lately. I’m feeling a lot more comfortable in my own skin. Maybe, somewhere along the way, I’ve found some type of closure with all the guilt, shame and other baggage that I’ve dragged around all these decades.

I’ve also found myself being a lot more judicious with my energy, saying ‘no’ more often and trying to be mindful about day-to-day situations, actively deciding what thought or emotion was going to get dealt with now and which ones can wait until I decide to deal with them later.

Being a caregiver is still a burden at times, but I seem to be able to cope better most days. Depression is still a weight I drag around and I suspect I always will, some days it just weighs a lot less than it does on other days.

I guess I just don’t feel the need to be as loud a voice, at least for myself. But I’ve also written for those who either aren’t as comfortable with their own skin yet or are yet to come. So what should I do? I simply don’t feel the passion I used to have about all this, but who knows?

I sure has hell don’t.

© 2015 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com

© 2014 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com
  • StephenS

    First of all Scott… congrats on the MedX love. You absolutely deserve it and I’m glad you’ll be there this year speaking for all of us.

    Second, I wonder if everything you’re describing is a part of life and its ever-changing ways? I know that sounds weird, but what I really mean is: If you’re happy, I’m not sure you should be carrying someone else’s guilt around too.

    It was great finally meeting you at the UnConference, and I hope it won’t be too long before we meet again. Thanks

  • shannon

    so happy to see you pop up in my reader! sounds like you’ve got a busy couple of months ahead of you. i’m glad you had some good people time at the UNconference.
    I totally get what you mean about having carried that banner for so long and passing it on to others sometimes. your voice is among the reasons the depression conversation is taking place more often now, and for that I thank you!
    not knowing is part of the journey as well. we all feel it sometimes.
    hugs to you!

  • One of my very favorite things about this stuff we do is that we can follow it wherever it takes us. And if that means whatever it means for you right now, then I say to trust your gut. There’s always a seat for you next to me on the airplane. 🙂

  • Karolyn

    I found your blog a few years ago and have been a regular reader because I too have type 1 diabetes and depression. Reading about your journey with depression inspired me last August to get help for myself. While I have a long way to go, your blog makes me feel that that I am not alone. For that I am very grateful.
    I hope you decide to keep blogging. You have helped more people than you realize.