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Things I Need to Change

As I have been going through therapy with Morpheus, I’ve realized somethings about myself that I needed to change.  Most of these things were because of my “Why Bother” attitude.

Some of them I had made what I think is significant progress.   I blogged last time about Proactive  Survivorship.  That concept has given me a framework. One in which I can find something some comfort in knowing, in understanding that it doesn’t matter why I survived.  It only matters what I do with with that survival now.

In some ways, Why Bother is a useful tool for me, in some ways it is my nemesis.  It can be useful when I want to challenge something, someone, some stigma.  It lets me put my “don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me” in play and try to have a reasonable opinion that I can defend without letting self-doubt get in the way.

Insecurity, self-doubt and negative thinking are some things that I will probably continue to struggle with.  Sometimes, they are a reasonable reactions.  Other times, it is just my own self-loathing trying to claw its way back from whatever box I have tried to lock it away in.  It’s one of those “wisdom to know the difference” things…

Where Why Bother will still be a danger to me is when depression starts to rear its ugly head again, as I’m sure it will.  Hopefully, I’m better equipped now to recognize and better handle episodes, I guess we’ll find out. (negative think) Or maybe we won’t have to find out. (positive think)

But Why Bother has given me some attitudes and habits that I need to change.

For example, when something comes up that I need to learn about, I tend to learn just the bare minimum to get by.  I rarely sit down and actually master something, actually anything.  That’s something I need to change.

For example, as I participate more in the e-patient arena, I’ve realized that there are a lot of things that I really need a more in-depth knowledge of.  Which is going to involve me reading a hell of a lot more than blog postings or twitter chats.  I’ve started with The Health Care Handbook by Nathan Moore and Elisabeth Askin.  ** this is not an endorsement of this book, I am simply using it as an example.

This book was released earlier this year, so the PPACA (Patient Protection and Accountable Care Act) i.e. Obamacare, is covered in the discussions.  One thing that I’m discovering is how ungodly complicated and convoluted the economics of healthcare is in the US. It’s no wonder that no one can tell you the true cost for a procedure is.  There are layers upon layers of factors that all effect what we see on a bill.

I’m usually a pretty quick study on things, but I’m going to have to go back and read that chapter again because I’m just having a hard time even conceiving how a business model like that could ever survive, in any industry but healthcare I think that model would have totally collapsed within just a couple of years.

One of the biggest question in the diabetes world is why test strips cost so damn much, especially considering the volume produced on a daily basis.  If I remember correctly, Roche produces 1,500,000  strips per day and they are still $1 apiece without insurance.

Recently, during the 2012 Roche Social Media Summit, the participants were taken on a tour of the manufacturing facilities.  Everyone was quite impressed with the technology and the nice clean production area full of large impressive machines.  They general take-away by the attendees was that they could see why the strips “cost” so much, which, I am sure, Roche wanted to happen.

However, from a costing perspective the bright shiny machines and a massive production area actually tell you ZERO about the true costs involved.  Honestly, I don’t expect Roche to share that type of information and honestly would be amazed if they do.  Not because I think there is “gouging” going on (or do I?), but because that would be a poor business decision in a competitive marketplace.

One thing I find odd about that marketplace is that, except for a few notable exception (i.e. Walmart brand strips), all the strips are very close in price.

Oh well, that’s enough ranting and raving for a while.  I still feel as if I am making progress with Morpheus and only see her twice a month now as opposed to the weekly visits I had before.  I see some of the things I need to change about me, which will take time and conscious effort to do.  There’s also a pretty big thing I’d really like to change, but I’m not quite sure how to go about it and really can’t blog about it.

Thanks for coming by!

Today’s Snarky Comment: It’s election season, don’t let drinking the koolaid destroy a relationship.

© 2012 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and

  • Very much enjoyed your post, Scott. Thanks for sharing this. I agree and tend to do the same things myself, just “looking at the headlines” instead of reading the full story sometimes. And that’s something I’ve been working to change over the past number of months. That self-doubt and insecurity, the feelings that “I’m not going to retain or comprehend this anyhow” comes back, and often interferes… but it’s a work in progress. I’m glad to see you are taking some steps to learn more on your end, with what you want to engage in. Definitely some important e-patient areas to cover! Anyhow, thanks again for putting this out there. Best your way, my friend.

    • Thanks Mike! Retaining the info has never really been the issue for me, it was the “why bother to learn more than I need too” attitude.

      You guys take care, have a great weekend!

  • Nathan Moore

    I’m glad you picked up our book. Look forward to hearing what you think of it.

    • well, if I can ever actually understand healthcare economics 101 it’ll be something to brag about

  • Scott, I’m so proud of you man. I love seeing you so active in the e-patient stuff, and seeing you work to get more involved. We are lucky to have you!