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Why They Scare Me

My last post was a very brief one about “Regrets” being an upcoming topic with Morpheus and how that scared me.

I thought I’d try to explain why.  **By the way, writing this is making me very anxious which probably means I need to talk about it

I’ve mentioned before that I never really allowed my self to form distinct memories of significant events in my life, I mean seriously, why bother?  However, I’m beginning to think it is more likely that those memories are there; lurking, hidden, just waiting to cut into me.

I think I will be ashamed of the way I treated friends and loved ones, of how I wouldn’t let myself enjoy the moment.  Angry with myself for that.

And I worry that I won’t be able to control these feelings and emotions as these memories surface.  I have no idea how or when they will and my reaction is completely unpredictable to me.

That is very scary to me.

© 2012 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com

  • Mike Hoskins

    I feel the same way, Scott. In some way this may be why I went into journalism -to tell stories about other people and not recognize my own. All in the name of objectivity. Even recently, I notice that in photos I’m not present, but behind the camera. Ironic and sad, in a sense. Worth chatting about. These thoughts scare me too and I appreciate you helping me see them in my own world through your story sharing. Good luck tackling these on your end with Morpheus.

  • Bob P.

    Continued luck, Doc.

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  • Jane K. Dickinson

    Scott,
    I have just decided that I could spend all of my time reading posts and comments on the DOC. Unfortunately, I need to work and my kids need a mother. But I am continually blown away by the insight, honesty, raw feelings and vulnerability (are all those really the same thing?) that are shared in this community. Really makes us dig down in there and think about things that may not want to be thought about. Thanks for all that you have shared and may your regrets – when they surface – be overshadowed by the amazing things you have done since those old things happened. And also, may those people who were affected by your regrets have really bad memories.

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