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How Deep is That Damn Rabbit Hole Anyway?

Circa February 1970:  A seven year-old child learns he has a disease that will never go away and will kill him.  Something happened to him that his parents would never let happen, something that God would never let happen. It has to be someone’s fault so he is left with the indisputable fact that it is his fault.  For that is all a young child can understand.

As some of my closer friends know, I have been seeing a therapist for the last few weeks.  I like her, feel comfortable talking with her.  It’s nice to talk with someone that has no history or preconceptions of you but at the same time, she asks questions that friends wouldn’t and makes me answer them.  I need that.  It is also scary as hell.

In the movie The Matrix there is a scene where Neo and Morpheus meet for the first time.  Morpheus gives Neo a choice and tells him that if he takes the blue pill he will wake up in his own bed and be able to think whatever he wants.  If he takes the red pill, he will stay in Wonderland and Morpheus will show him how deep the rabbit hole goes.   Morpheus then tells him that he only promises to show Neo the truth.

I’ve just taken the red pill.  And the truth isn’t pretty… but at the same time it is magnificent.

© 2012 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com

  • Anonymous

    Best of luck on your journey, Scott.

  • Bravo on this brave step, my friend!!

  • Kudos to you on taking the steps you need to take!

  • Rachel

    I hope it helps.. As someone in and out of therapy from a young age, it can be both overwhelming and incredible to figure out stuff.

  • Mike Hoskins

    What a great post, Scott. I, too, am getting started and seeking my “Morpheus” (totally how I’m going to refer to that person now) and haven’t yet gotten to the red or blue pill choice. But I want to take that red one, just am unsure if I have the courage to grab and consume it once that time arrives. Congrats for having that courage and finding someone and taking the red pill, my friend. And thank you so much for sharing this.

  • Great post and I wish you well as you discover & learn things through the layers as they unfold. I took that red pill nearly 3 years ago. I went in thinking it was for a certain issue and it untangled so much more. Very scary, very raw but at the same time so intriguing to dig deeper and see how things in your life can really carry with you and go into other parts of your life you never realized it would. It was like a giant puzzle and as I started to put the pieces together it made me paralyzed in thought at times but there also came a sense of peace about it. I laid many things to rest. Personal growth is a wild adventure and those who embark on that journey are very brave. 

    See now look what you made me do I’m all “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy” /wink …Love ya Scott! ((HUGS))

  • Patrick McConnell

    Good Luck on your journey Scott, and It`s all about the journey not the destination…:)

  • Lee Ann Thill

    I’m biased, but therapy is a wonderful thing.  Living with diabetes is so inexplicably psychologically complicated that I think therapy should be as much a priority as going to the endo or the CDE.  I’m happy for you that you took the red pill.  It’s scary, but I suspect you will be infinitely grateful you made that choice.  I look forward to hearing more about your experience in therapy, my friend.

  • wow this post sounded like the beginning of a really good book…   I agree with all the others said and I hope that you keep us posted on how therapy goes for you.  Take care 🙂

    • heheh, well… the story is just beginning.  Or, if I’m lucky, just beginning to wrap to a finale

  • shannon

    beautiful post, thanks for sharing. happy new year to us all.

  • you already know this, but i am so glad you’ve taken this step, and i am so proud of you. <3

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