** This post and the comments look unusual because I managed to nuke my blog and had to recover these posts from the google cache, this was the only way that I could find to also preserve the great comments.
That’s the opening line from a song called Veteran Of The Psychic Wars performed by Blue Oyster Cult. I first heard that song on the soundtrack of a movie called Heavy Metal from 1981. That soundtrack, BTW, is an excellent metal album, lots of great music on it.
Now let me explain why I am talking about it. Last night here in Kansas City, we had a pretty good snowfall and my 15 minute drive home took me over an hour. So I took the time to plug the iPhone into the car stereo and fire it up, all while driving with one knee, of course.
One thing I’ve noticed lately is that I’ve started listening to music again and actually enjoying it, it’s been a long time since I’ve really done that. I was in the mood for some rock and this was the second or third song that played. There are some songs that seem to have a theme, usually a dark one, that I find applicable to diabetes. This is one of those songs.
Like this line from the first verse:
And I’m young enough to look at and far too old to see
When I heard that, the thought immediately came to mind was that is exactly how it is when trying to truly explain diabetes. People can see me, talk to me, know me; but still not truly see what my life entails.
Now read the second verse
You ask me why I’m weary Why I can’t speak to you You blame me for my silence Say it’s time I changed and grew But the war’s still going on, dear And there’s no end that I know And I can’t say if we’re ever I can’t say if we’re ever gonna be free
How applicable is that to the burnout so many of us have felt lately? We know how difficult it is to explain diabetic burnout to those outside the community.
Now from the last verse
My energy is spent at last And my armor is destroyed I have used up all my weapons And I’m helpless and bereaved Wounds are all I’m made of Did I hear you say that this is victory
I sometimes wonder how much armor I have left. And then I hear someone say “It’s easily controllable” or “You can reverse that, you know” and there are days I just don’t have the energy to say anything. And, while insulin is an awesome win for us, I just don’t see it as the victory we really need.
But, that all being said, I’m actually starting to feel better about things. Still have to get things packed and decide what goes into storage, what gets tossed and what gets moved. The support from the DOC has simply been amazing, as usual!
Thanks for stopping by and here’s a little rock send off!
Today’s snarky comment: You guys ain’t bad, but you ain’t no Blünt Lancet
© 2011 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com
Bob P says:January 20, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Odd…as soon as I saw the tweeted title of your post, I thought of this song. Very, very interesting.Reply
Jess says:January 20, 2011 at 2:14 pm
What a powerful post! I’m a big music person too, and i love the lyrics you shared. They really express things we all feel very beautifully.
I’m glad you feel supported by the DOC–we’re all here for you! And since I’m close, if there’s anything I can help you with in person, just let me know.Reply
Kim says:January 20, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Rock on, dude.
Glad to hear you’re on the up and up – and thanks for introducing me to a song I didn’t know about. (But I HAD heard of Heavy Metal – so there!)Reply
© 2010 Scott Strange, Strangely Diabetic and http://StrangelyDiabetic.com