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Well… at least my endo is happy

** This post and the comments look unusual because I managed to nuke my blog and had to recover these posts from the google cache, this was the only way that I could find to also preserve the great comments.

First of all I want to thank all of my DOC family who thought I was worthy to win a DOC award and for gifting me with the “Blogger You’d Share a Drink With” Award. Honestly, winning this category against some very deserving DOC members has been quite an honor for me.  It makes me feel that I am actually having a positive effect in the DOC and I hope I can continue to live up to that.  Again, thank you all and congrats to all of the other the well-deserved winners and  candidates

I blogged last time about the burnout I was going thru and how I wasn’t really looking forward to my upcoming endo appointment and what I was sure was going to be an unpleasant rise in my A1c.  I feared this because I felt my numbers were less than stable and I was seeing way too many highs.

It turns out I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

My Dexcom spilled it’s guts.  I’ve never named my devices, but I may start calling it Narc instead of What the Eff?  It showed less than 1% under 50, 4% under 80.  A standard deviation of 52 (last time I looked at that, it was around 80).  And an A1c of 6.1%  So things are actually going pretty well on the D-front overall.

The one thing that is odd is my basal/bolus ratio.  I am at 20% basal, 80% bolus.  The issues I am having result from using some of my bolus insulin doses to help cover things that basal rates should cover.   So, I’m doing basal testing. which it seems I have been doing pretty much constantly since I started Symlin.  One other thing I think may be happening is that the Apidra is lasting closer to 4hrs as opposed to 3.

But I am still burned out.  Why?  Because there is so much more to living than just living with diabetes.

At work, a big project is ramping up and being burnt out hasn’t helped my motivation to get the stuff done I need to get done.  But work isn’t why I’m burnt out. Why?  Because there is so much more to living than just living with diabetes and working for the suits.

I usually try not to blog about family issues, but they are part of life and can effect everything.

Some of you may know that my mom has been having some health issues over the last few months.  After several months, we have a definite diagnosis:  Multi-Infarct Dementia.  All my siblings have been here over the holidays and, if you don’t know, that diagnosis has required us to have discussions about end-of-life topics.  The doctor wants us to get Hospice involved as soon as we can as it will be better for her.  The longer she knows these people, the more support she will have.   It’s as much emotional support as it is medical.

It’s been disturbing hearing Mom, someone who has always been there, discuss how she wants “things” to go.  Who she would like to get what items.  Having to read Living Wills, DNR’s, Durable Power of Attorneys, and discuss legal Guardianships.

I’m actually going to be moving out there so I can at least be there overnight; helping as I can even if it is nothing more than to give an ear when it has been a rough day.  One of my sister’s has pretty much lived there since last May with other sibs helping as much as they can, staying sometimes for weeks at a time.  We’re looking for someone who can come and be with her during the day

Mom is 87 years old and was married for 59 years to a US Army Command Sergeant Major who passed 10 years ago.  She’s been living by herself for the most part doing the things that needed to be done.  She grew up during the Great Depression and, honestly, is tough as nails.

So I am a bit distracted now; but I’m still planning on increasing my advocacy efforts, especially adult T1 outreach programs with the JDRF.

But I will continue to deal with the things that need to be dealt with.  That is my parent’s legacy to me.  To be self-reliant, independent, to live with diabetes as simply a part of my life.

Diabetes will not be my legacy.

Hopefully, mine will match theirs.

I love you all and thank you for being a part of this journey I’m on to learn how to live again

Scott

24 Comments

  1. George says:

January 5, 2011 at 6:39 pm

I never had the opportunity with my dad since he died instantly and at such a young age but I hope there will be a day when I will have the honor of taking care of my mother.

I kills me now to think about it but I know that day will come.

Take care Scott, I think about you and your family often and pray comfort and peace surround you.

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January 5, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Thank you George. This was the first post that I have ever written that brought tears to my eyes. And your caring reply brought them back.

I’m glad to count you as one of my family.

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  1. Simon says:

January 6, 2011 at 3:29 am

Straight from the heart and to the heart Scott.

Your honesty and openness is what makes you the icon of the OC you are, I hope and pray it may bring you closer to your mother and family in this difficult time.

Thank you for just being you,witty larger than life, and an inspiration to so many.

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January 6, 2011 at 10:53 am

Thanks Simon, I really appreciate that

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  1. Scott S says:

January 6, 2011 at 8:40 am

Scott, I think dealing with parents’ ailments can sometimes tougher than it would be with children because it just doesn’t seem right when they were there to care for us all our lives — it seems strange. A number of years ago, my mother had some major surgery and we weren’t sure she would survive, which put things into a new perspective for me. You should deal with family first, and not really worry about other commitments unless time permits. We all understand.

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January 6, 2011 at 10:55 am

Thanks, Scott and you’re absolutely correct on that it doesn’t seem “right”

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  1. Sarah says:

January 6, 2011 at 8:55 am

Hugs to you, my friend. Don’t worry about venting about anything outside of diabetes – we’re here for you. You’re family, and we care about you beyond your diabetes.

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January 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Thanks, Sarah. I knew that, but it’s certainly nice to hear

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  1. Lorraine says:

January 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

I’m so sorry for all you are going through Scott. If there is anything I can do, tell me. Don’t ask, just tell.

All things considered those are some amazingly incredible results! Great for you!

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January 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Thanks so much Lorraine, I really appreciate it!

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  1. Colleen says:

January 6, 2011 at 6:05 pm

It’s hard, Scott. My dad was in a similar situation (retired Army, also) and it was tough. When he died, I was so extremely grateful that I’d been there through the years during his illness. It is wonderful that you can be there with her, and with your family to share in the care. It’s difficult, but it’s worth every moment, even the tough moments. And the great moments will be wonderful memories for you.
And the D-OC was wonderfully supportive as I coped with dad and my new diabetes.

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January 7, 2011 at 11:08 am

Thanks Colleen. You’re right it is hard at times, but I’m glad that I’m able to be there for her

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  1. Tina says:

January 6, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Scott I am so sorry. My mom has been near death many times in her short life. I know how you are feeling. I wish I had some magic words that could bring you peace but words are not enough in these times. I think the saving grace is that she can take part in the decision making. I am sure that gives her peace of mind.
In place of being able to actually sit down and share a beer with you I will ask that you get one pop it open and imagine all of sitting with you, laughing joking and letting you vent. Dude it’s your blog you get to write about whatever you want. I personally glad you let out what’s going on. Hold that shit in and your A1c will go up to a 9. Oh and 6.1? You are my idol!!!

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January 7, 2011 at 11:11 am

Thanks Tina, I think mom is happier knowing that she’s laying things out about how she wants it and I’m glad she can participate.

I’ll pop that beer this evening!

Oh, and if I’m going to be your idol; I’ll need a theme song.. maybe Blunt Lancet can perform it

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  1. Kelly Rawlings says:

January 6, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Even while you didn’t feel especially in control, pretty darn impressive how on-target your blood sugars ended up being!

Thank you (and the rest of your family) for taking such good care of your mother.

Helping others when they need it the most, nearing the end of life, is the essence of what is best about humans and always makes the world a better place.

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January 7, 2011 at 11:13 am

Thanks Kelly. I think you are absolutely right

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  1. Cherise says:

January 8, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Scott-

I am sorry to hear about your mom. Even though my Mom can be a pain in the butt I couldn’t and can’t possibly imagine having to go through what you are going through right now. I will keep you, your mom and family in my prayers and I applaud you for still being able to support and help people with diabetes through this time.

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January 12, 2011 at 9:57 am

Thanks Cherise!

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  1. Brad Boyd says:

January 16, 2011 at 8:26 am

Scott,

We go way back- Salt Creek Valley! I didn’t remember you having siblings. I was diagnosed with type I in 1976- right after we moved on to post at Ft. Leavenworth. Sorry to hear about your Mom. It’s all related- mental health/physical health.

Any ideas how to quit being a “brittle” diabetic?

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January 16, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Hi Brad! That was way back! My sibs are all alot older than I am, the next younger is 14 years older than I and had graduated high school before I even started.

As far as being brittle, that’s a loaded question… What defines “brittle” to you? I’m not a doctor, but what is your treatment regimen now? Pumping, shots? If you are pumping, do you make your own adjustment to basal rates and other settings as you see things changing? Are you seeing an endo or working with your family doc?

The biggest thing I have found that helped me level out my numbers, besides starting a pump. is trying to be as consistent day-to-day as I can. I know it is not always possible to do that, but once you have a good baseline of how your body responds to carbs/exercise on an average day; you can start looking at how certain foods affect your sugars and how to properly adjust dosages for it.

Nice to hear from you again!

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      • Brad Boyd says:

January 16, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Brittle was a term I hadn’t heard in relation to diabetes until my doctor used it to describe my oscillating blood sugars. They were pretty regular back in the day when I used Regular and NPH insulin. For the last 10 or 15 years I’ve used Novolog during the day and Lantus at night. I pretty much eat the same thing every day and try to keep the same routine of diet/exercise. I’ll have to ask my doctor about a pump. Is a glucometer wired in to the pump?

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        • Brad Boyd says:

January 16, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Forgot to mention…my doctor is an endocrinologists.

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January 16, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Before I pumped, I was on Lantus and it was causing a lot of my problems. My basal rates vary so much during the day, that there was no way I could really control my numbers without a pump. I know some people split their doses, but I never tried that so don’t know how that would work. Something to talk with your doc about. There are also 12 hour insulins that might give you better results than Lantus.

Currently, most pumps have a meter that communicates wirelessly with it. In the US, the 3 major players are Animas, Minimed, and Omnipod. If you read some of the various sites, you find plenty of opinions on all three, lol.

There are also Continuos Glucose Monitoring Systems (CGMS) that are used to primarily measure your glucose trends on a constant basis. Based on your insurance, you can probably get your endo to fit you with one for a week and have some trends to look at, though that might be worth more after you have been pumping for a few months, based on my experiences. Insurance companies are still, often times, reluctant to approve these devices. The two major players are Dexcom and Minimed in the CGMS market. I’ve worn both, I prefer the Dexcom since the Minimed tech didn’t work for me, tho it does quite well for other people.

  1. Jaimie says:

January 20, 2011 at 2:47 pm

sending hugs, love, prayers and stength vibes…love ya! xo

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Comments are closed.