I feel the need to write this, but I am more than hesitant to post it.
As I’ve gotten more and more involved with the online community and advocacy, I’ve had many people tell me that I am an inspiration, 40 years diabetic and no major complications. That, by hearing of my experiences, even the not too pleasant ones, that I give them hope that they or their loved ones can also achieve a long, healthy life.
You know the commercials that show inventors and the disclosure that “their results are not typical”? I’m like that. I mean it seriously; there were entire decades when I didn’t take proper care of myself. And yet, here I sit. Certainly not a “typical result”.
I was amazed at my own reaction to my Diabetes Art Day “artwork”. I don’t understand why some D-clocks seem to run faster than others. It certainly isn’t fair.
How did I get here
And what went wrong
Couldn’t handle forgiveness
Now I’m far beyond gone
And I can hardly remember
The look of my own eyes
How could I love this
A life so dishonest
It made me compromise
I’ve touched on survivor’s guilt before, I think it’s time to forgive myself for surviving.